The Unexpected Healer

Finding Light in the Darkness

Am I qualified to speak to you as a healer or helper for your journey? That's a question I've been asking myself lately, and perhaps it's one you've asked about yourself too.

I'm not a certified professional with a diploma hanging on my wall. What I do have is a lifetime of experiences that have forged me into who I am today. My journey includes:

• Being raised by addicts

• Years of verbal and physical abuse

• Gifts of apology masking deeper issues

• Abandonment and sudden loss of loved ones, including those in combat

• Betrayal, adultery, and divorce

• First-hand combat action

• Addiction and medical crises

• Witnessing healing of sexual abuse (though not directly experiencing it)

For 37 years, I believed I didn't deserve the good things in my life. I didn't know how to accept love, and I didn't care about myself. Suicide was a real thought, but fortunately, I lacked the constitution to succumb to it.

Finding Glimpses of Light

Each day, I searched for small glimpses of light:

• The sound of my kids laughing

• A conversation with a loved one

• Practicing meditation

• Listening to music (even when it was dark)

These moments made me feel less alone and became tools to get out of my head and live in the present, and as a practiced them, the more and more beauty and happiness crept into my life. The sunset became more vibrant, the grass felt softer under my feet, the ocean felt safe.

The Danger of Wallowing

While acknowledging our thoughts and feelings is important, wallowing can be dangerous. Negative thought patterns can become a cancer, festering inside your mind, lowering your frequency, and manipulating your reality. Over time, these patterns can manifest as addictions, reckless behaviors, and harmful actions.

An Invitation to Mindfulness

I want to invite you to practice mindfulness and meditation. Sit with your feelings, without numbing agents, and seek to understand yourself. If you don't feel safe doing this alone, seek help and have someone sit with you.

Action Step: Set aside 5 minutes today to practice mindfulness. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice your thoughts without judgment, letting them pass like clouds in the sky.

Tools for the Journey

Here are some tools I've learned in this human experience:

1. Get out of your head: Point out things directly in front of you - plants, pictures, windows, the couch you're sitting on. Engage your five senses.

2. Practice mindfulness: Live in the present moment and guard each passing thought as you time travel in your mind.

3. Invite the universe in: Allow reminders of your miraculous existence to reach you.

4. Listen to uplifting music: Choose songs that bring you joy and peace.

5. Use affirmations: Speak or listen to words that affirm your worth and potential.

6. Have meaningful conversations: Even the hard ones, with people you love. Invite them to speak love and light to you.

7. Connect with nature: Go for a walk, lose yourself in the natural world.

8. Care for your vessel: Start simple, even with just brushing your teeth.

Reflection: Which of these tools resonate with you the most? How might you incorporate one or two into your daily routine this week?

Remember, you have to start somewhere. No one will start for you. You are the change!

What's one small step you can take today towards your own healing journey? How can you be a source of light for yourself and others?

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This journey of healing and self-discovery is ongoing. By sharing my experiences and the tools that have helped me, I hope my light can help others along the way. You never know who might need to hear your story or benefit from the wisdom you've gained through your struggles.

What parts of your story might help someone else? How can you use your experiences to be a force for good in the world?